Privacy In Marriage


Privacy In Marriage

When I think about the beauty of marriage, my mind dwells on the importance of privacy and trust. One of the most imperative things that keeps a relationship strong is the ability to trust one another. But I have found quite often that privacy is not really embraced in today’s world, especially in these days of oversharing on social media. Tik Tok videos, Instagram posts and Facebook statuses are often places that many people have a tendency to share their lives upon. And though I don’t think there’s anything wrong in sharing sweet pictures or videos, I do however, think it’s different when social media becomes a place to rant about personal issues within our lives, particularly about marriage problems. Unfortunately, I’ve seen it so often all over the internet. Wives and husbands sharing the most private details about their spouses and complications within their marriage that should only remain between them and their spouse. Why have we grown toward sharing online? Do we feel as though we are not listened to in our personal lives, and through which, we turn to the world on the internet? What is our motive for unveiling secrets and problems that should be worked on within the marriage? My mind dwells on many questions like these. Because I can’t help but question why privacy in marriage is becoming less embraced.

In my eyes, I view marriage to be such a precious and sacred union. The last thing I would ever want is for my husband to live in discomfort. I wouldn’t want him, or myself, to live as though we’re constantly walking on eggshells. Constantly peering over our shoulders in fear and deep anxiety. I’d like both my husband and I to feel safe in the relationship. That even beyond death, whoever dies first, can die peacefully knowing that the secrets, issues and problems we faced in our marriage will not be uploaded all over social media to be read and seen by the world.

One day, when I am married, I expect my husband and I to honour each other so deeply. Protecting my husband’s reputation is very important to me. Regardless of our fallouts and disagreements, regardless of those moments where I may be upset or frustrated with him, I will always aim to put my emotions aside and honour my husband for the special and important man that he is. Because I know without a doubt, that God sent him to me as a gift. And a gift should be treated with care and appreciation accordingly. It hurts so badly to see married couples completely disregarding how their spouses must feel when they share such sensitive information about them and their relationship online. For the sake of views, likes, shares and book sales. It’s as though the praise, attention and approval of strangers all over the world is more important than the reputation of their spouse. And it’s heartbreaking for me to see.

Privacy in marriage isn’t only limited to oversharing online, but I also see it as remaining private in conversations with our friends and family. As women, lots of us love to talk with our girlfriends and update them about the things within our lives. But something I’ve noticed is that the more someone can gossip about their spouse to a friend, the more that spouse’s reputation can be tarnished in their sight. I’ve seen it happen on so many countless occasions. People who once respected a certain individual, slowly changes their perspective of them according to the sensitive and private information that a close one shares with them. Once that information is shared, it can’t be taken back. And the issue is, that information can be passed on and you’d have no idea who would ever know! I’ve made the decision to keep things private about my marriage, even from family and friends. Before coming to that decision, I often wondered who I would reach out to if I needed someone to talk to. A therapist/marriage counsellor was the first thing that came to mind. A professional who keeps things confidential, who is trained with all things concerning the complex issues of marriage. That is an individual that I would feel confident in trusting. However, I know that everyone’s different. I believe everyone is capable of making the right choices for their own lives and marriages if they think it through carefully. Though, with myself, I have a conviction within my heart to embrace privacy in marriage and seek out a counsellor/therapist instead.

I cherish privacy in marriage. And in a world full of sensitive marriage issues being shared on social media, I hope my future husband will cherish privacy too. For the sake of our relationship to remain strong in trust, it’s my heart’s desire to consider my husband first before anything or anyone else.

Please note – If you are experiencing abuse in a relationship, please get in touch with someone that you trust. A friend or family member that will be able to help you. Abuse shouldn’t be tolerated in a relationship.

For further information and support regarding abusive relationships, please visit Refuge Charity 


Thank you so much for reading, I hope that this helped or inspired you in some way

If you adored reading this, you may delighting in reading Feeling Safe With Your Man


Lots of love, Devona Fayana


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