Stability Within The Family Home
There’s a beautiful quote that has always stuck in my heart since I read it, and it said that the home is a place of refuge for those that dwell within it. When I think of refuge, I think of safety. I think of rest, peace and stability. I’d love for my husband, children and I to see the place that we live in not merely as a house, but an actual home where our souls find the deepest serenity. But serenity requires stability, and stability within the family home is something that is really important to me.
When I think of a stable home, financial stability is not the first thing that comes to my mind. Because for me, stability within the family home actually begins with emotional stability. The emotional stability of both the husband and wife, as mother and father, contributes to children’s feelings of safety and security. I believe that a child could live in the wealthiest family, yet still feel unsafe and insecure in the presence of their parents. And also, there may be families who are financially struggling, yet their children rest in the reality that they are safely and peacefully embraced within the hearts of their parents.
One of the things that breaks my heart is when I hear stories of parents being so emotionally unstable toward their children, so much to the point where their kids develop a very unhealthy fear of them. I find that children who experience these painful challenges tend to grow up to feel unloved, insecure and feeling as though they don’t belong. As many of us know, the relationship that we have with our parents also can spiral into the relationships that we share with others. If a child is so used to instability and unpredictability in their relationships with their mother or father, it tends to become accepted as normalised within general relationships. There may be some children that grow up to settle into unhealthy relationships, but their desire for love and belonging is the only thing that keeps them staying. A toxic and unhealthy understanding of love can also deceive the hearts of those who have experienced instability within the family home. It’s heartbreaking, really. For though we are all human and imperfect, I believe that true love is constant and devoted. Love brings peace and clarity, not chaos and confusion. It’s unfortunate that it has been such a sad reality that so many of us have experienced.
I decided to write about my longing for stability within the family home because I desire that so much for my husband and children. I desire for them to feel safe and embraced by me, for them to feel at rest, and as though they can let their guard down when they’re dwelling in our home. I understand that none of us are perfect. We all have our good days and our bad days. Daily we deal with a myriad of emotions, but something I’ve learned is that how we handle and manage those emotions are really important. Whether we’re dealing with sadness, anger or grief etc, rather than taking it out on others (or things), one of the best ways to release our emotions is either through prayer, therapy, or reaching out politely to a trusted love one.
One of the purposes of marriage is to help each other as spouses as you both grow and learn through life. However, I feel as though there’s a difference between sharing your heart with your husband, and actually taking out your anger and emotions on him. I don’t believe it’s fair to take it all out on your spouse. I don’t believe it’s healthy to bottle up emotions. Prayer is one of the best ways to really pour it all out to God because actually, He can handle it. Therapy sessions also help too because you’ll be able to obtain advice and uplifting words from another human being who is able to help you from a professional perspective.
Our husband and children, (and ourselves), deserve to live in a peaceful, stable home. Stability within the home ensures healthy development of our mental, emotional, spiritual and even physical health. Loving and serving one another in love comes before our temporal emotions. It’s my deepest desire for my family to feel absolutely secure, safe and embraced by me. ♡
Thank you so much for reading. ♡
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Lots of love, Devona Fayana ♡♡♡