The Desire To Be a Wife and Mother

The Desire To Be a Wife and Mother

It’s been so long that I have desired this. For as long as I can remember, I have wished so deeply to be a wife and mother. It’s a beautiful, but also a painful desire to carry. Hope deferred only intensifies with every day that passes by in the season of waiting. The Lord has been my literal anchor. On Him, I cling on. He holds my broken soul together, when all I feel is my heart spilling out of hope. The pain of waiting for numerous years can hurt. But the Lord in His love, has always been faithful to saturate me with His serene healing.

I’m learning to not shrug my longing away, and to not suppress my innermost desire to be a wife and mother. It’s so easy in times of waiting and uncertainty to feel as though it will never happen. Hopelessness tends to take a choke hold on you, blinding you of the precious possibilities that can happen at any moment. For we have no knowledge of our future, but the Lord Himself has His hand upon us, knowing the plans that He has for our lives. And it is within Him, that I have found a steadfast security, that makes my soul feel safe regardless of the series of disappointments. For He has become my hope, my haven, and the One my heart takes rest and comfort in. Surrender is challenging. But I have found it necessary to let go and let Him have His way in my life. For we only see the present, but our Heavenly Father is omniscient, with perfect comprehension of our beginning, middle and end. Falling deeply and wholeheartedly in surrender, is a kind of freedom I have found in taking pressure off of myself, and leaning on to the One who eternally embraces me.

When one has the desire to be a wife and mother, there can sometimes be moments of comparison that taints the heart. Endless questions become torture. The why tends to be the most frequent.

I have often asked myself why my life has turned out this way. My childhood was filled with much rejection and neglect. And though I believe that God has healed me from my past, I sometimes think that this time of hope deferred has the tendency to resurrect the feeling of rejection in my heart. The feeling of being unwanted. Perplexed about why I seem to be the odd one out in my group of friends, not receiving the blessing of marriage and children. It hurts. It feels like a constant sting that overtakes the heart that can never truly, fully go away.

My prayer is to follow God’s will. And that the Lord Himself will place His will and His desires into my heart. I have honestly lost count regarding how many times I have begged Him in tears to take my desire to be a wife and mother away. All I desire is for His will. But it gets extremely painful when the heart is consistently crushed.

I wanted to write this post to encourage women who are feeling this way, that you are not alone. I understand the intensity of your pain and hearts discomfort. Your Heavenly Father also, cares so deeply and He hears your hearts cry. I pray that He will replenish your heart where it is weary. And that He will strengthen your heart where it is weak. That He will continue to be your ultimate source of love, in a time of longing and uncertainty. I hope this post was able to bless you in someway. Thank you so much for reading.


Lots of love, Devona


if you delighted in reading this post, I think that you will adore Waiting For Marriage  

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  1. Corron
    June 21, 2022 / 8:47 pm

    Your time of singleness has not gone to waist because beautiful works like this have been published! Thank you!

    • devonafayana
      June 22, 2022 / 8:50 am

      Awww thank you so much Corron! That’s so lovely and encouraging of you. It means a lot ♡

  2. Cristina
    June 21, 2022 / 8:56 pm

    Hi Devona! I came across to your page on instagram pretty recently and I truly loved your writing, the moment I started reading the first lines of the poems, I began saving them so I can read them back when I feel the need. Your texts and poems brought me tears..tears of so much emotions.. reading something so extremely beautiful and so full of love. Feel like you entered in my life in perfect timing for me to trust deeply and not question anything anymore as He loves me and I know He is with me too and I am truly grateful. You captured the exact feelings.

    Thank you for writing every text, every are a blessing! May all your desires come true in divine time! ❤️

    • devonafayana
      June 22, 2022 / 8:57 am

      Hello Cristina! ♡ Awww, thank you for your kind words. I truly appreciate it. Hearing how much you love reading the writings makes me feel so happy and encouraged. I’m so glad to heart it. Thank you, so much! ♡

  3. Nachi
    June 21, 2022 / 10:29 pm

    Wow I’ve never felt more connected to someone through a post like this. I truly am not alone ❤️

    • devonafayana
      June 22, 2022 / 10:01 am

      Awww, you are truly not alone! ♡

  4. June 21, 2022 / 10:32 pm

    I felt this. God’s time is always best, but it doesn’t make the lead up any less challenging. May God continue to fortify your resilience in the wait. May your hope never run out. When the time comes, may your joy be unceasing and never taken for granted. God is your strength ❤️

    • devonafayana
      June 22, 2022 / 10:02 am

      Awww, thank you so much Mia! ♡

  5. Victoria Kanari
    June 22, 2022 / 7:33 am

    Hey Devona, this is so vulnerable of you. I know we’ve both shared our stories in brief and I completely understand your longing. I pray for God to move mightily in your life and prove to you that the wait has been indeed worth it. I pray that you will testify of His goodness and others will celebrate with you soon. May your heart find hope renewed and joy restored meanwhile.

    • devonafayana
      June 22, 2022 / 10:03 am

      Awww, thank you so much Victoria! I hope that you are well! Amen, thank you ♡♡♡

  6. Irish Clark
    June 24, 2022 / 6:43 pm


    This post has really spoken to me. I feel the exact same way right in this very moment. I even prayed that God take away the desire of marriage and having a child one day as well, but yet and still I have that desire. I know God has a plan, I’m just praying for strength and endurance in my season of waiting.

    Thank you for the encouraging post


  7. Zoey
    June 28, 2022 / 7:55 pm

    I felt this deeply, thank you for putting into words what i couldn’t. You really have a way with words
    God bless you

  8. Stephanie
    September 8, 2022 / 6:27 pm

    I know it was God’s will that I found your IG account and now your blog. Each day your posts hit me right where I am at and that is no accident. Your words resonate so much with me and the beauty of how they are delivered feels like whispers from heaven. Thank you.

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