10 Things I Am Learning In My Single Season as I Trust God…
Hey loves, I hope you’re all doing okay and had a lovely weekend! I felt as though the Lord was leading me to write a few things about my single journey. My aim is that as I share these lessons with you, they will encourage you too.
I have been single for 6 years now and it’s been such an interesting.. yet beautiful journey! Lol. Here are my personal thoughts and lessons on the single season.
1. Nothing can stop what God has ordained
Throughout the 6 years of being single, this season is helping me to trust in the Lord. I am truly in a season where I am surrendering to the sovereignty of God. Finding a godly spouse is a very unique journey for everybody. There are some believers in Christ who may find their spouse quickly, or without even having the desire of marriage. And on the other hand, there are those who have been waiting what seems like forever to meet their beloved spouse that the Lord has ordained for them.
It used to bother me a lot before, I used to ask the Lord if there was something wrong with me. Why would He withhold such a precious blessing from me for how many years? But as I have grown over the years, timing is something I know that the Lord is truly intentional with. Our Heavenly Father can see clearly into our future, and He knows the plans that He has ordained for us. I surrendered and began to trust in the Lord with my whole heart and believed that… as my Father, He has my best interest. He knows what’s best.
2. You cannot rush ahead of God’s timing
Honestly, I’ve had to truly humble myself before the Lord. I used to feel as though.. I had to take things into my own hands. I was so impatient and heartbroken and thought that my Heavenly Father was unwilling and unable to provide a loving companion for me. Or that He didn’t care about my desires, which looking back now is so upsetting to think.
When I rushed ahead of God’s timing, it was one of the biggest mistakes of my entire life. (I will probably share the story one day when I feel ready). When I stepped outside of God’s will, my life changed. And it was terrible. I became broken, hurt, and depressed. Ladies.. I have learnt my lesson. Please do not rush ahead of your Heavenly Father concerning this area of your life. The blessing of the Lord does not add sorrow. Your Father is a God of peace and not confusion. Continue to trust in God in your single season and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit.
3. Why do I want to get married?
The desire to get married is a normal and healthy desire. It is beautiful! And the Lord honours such a precious relationship. Although, I realised that a couple of years ago, that I was experiencing one of the most loneliest times of my life. It was in that season I was discontent in my singleness the most. I believe that sometimes when we are lonely, we crave deep and intimate companionship. And that is okay. But sometimes what we truly need is to nurture our friendships, get more involved in a church community, focus on pursuing our purpose and grow deeper in intimacy with God. I know all of these things are not the same as the relationship between a married couple, but I do know that the Lord alone satisfies. And He is faithful to provide for all of our needs according to His riches in glory (Phil 4:19). He is able to provide at the right time.
The past few years, the Lord has been purifying my motives for marriage. To not only desire it to share my life with someone and start a beautiful family for the glory of God, but He has also reminded me of the depths and the beauty of marriage. Which is to selflessly serve one another and help each other to grow in the Lord.
As a godly wife, we are to submit to our husband (Ephesians 5). We are to be helpers (Genesis 2:18) etc etc. And I felt as though.. a couple of years ago, I was in a time in my life where I was just impatient. I didn’t consider the seriousness of a godly marriage. I didn’t realise that the Lord was preparing me right now in this single season, for what He has for me in the future.
Allowing the Lord to search out my heart and purify my motives was one of the best decisions I had made, as I opened up my heart to Him.
4. God was waiting on me to love myself
I was bullied and rejected in primary and secondary school. From such a young age, I found it hard to love myself. Super difficult.
But throughout my journey as a Christian, I have been learning to love myself. And truly know deep down within my heart that God chooses me and He loves me. This is why I adore writing about love on my Instagram and in my books because people need to be reminded of how valued and cherished they are by the Lord. If it wasn’t for His love, I wouldn’t be here today…
I’ve been learning to see myself the way my Heavenly Father sees me. It’s been a beautiful journey.
I think that for me personally, the Lord wanted me to grow in His love and learn to love and appreciate myself first, so that I do not depend on my future spouse for validation. And it means a lot to me… I feel a lot stronger. I feel happier. I feel free.
I know in my heart that I will have a whole, healed and healthy heart when I meet my beloved future husband! 🙂
5. There is purpose for my single season and I have an assignment from the Lord
I have experienced so much hurt and pain earlier in my life. I believe that this single season has allowed me to truly grow so deeply in intimacy with God. And through that, I am able to help and serve others through what I’ve learnt with Him. I’m not sure how things would have gone in my life if I got married earlier. I’m not sure if my relationship with God would be as strong as it is today… and I don’t know if I would have been writing today. Because all of my writing flows from my heart. My lessons, my experiences… everything I’ve faced and everything God has taught me. My single season had a purpose.
And your single season has a purpose too! Only your Heavenly Father can truly reveal the details to you. He has so much marvellous plans for you, beloved. You are blessed and highly favoured! You are adored by the Most High God! Trust in God in your single season! xx
If you enjoyed this post, I think you will love my book Rosebuds: Blossoming In Your Single Season
my prayer is that in your single season, you will flourish in your beautiful relationship with the Lord and He will help you to bloom spiritually, mentally and emotionally to prepare for whatever He has in store for you!
I hope this post blessed you. Please follow me on Instagram if you don’t already! I upload daily posts of encouragement that I hope will also bless you.
Thank you so much for reading, and God bless you abundantly!
Lots of love,
Devona Fayana xxx