How To Be Content Single and Embrace It!
There’s usually a narrative surrounding the season of singleness to be something one must pity, as though it is a situation or a problem that must be resolved as soon as possible. I truly believe that many people still have not learnt contentment in being alone. To think of it is quite dangerous.. Because with a lot of us, we as grown adults have fallen into relationships one after another without a period of healing and stillness. Which results in the fact that we haven’t actually had a chance to live out a season of being single. And more importantly, a season to heal and restore yourself.
The period between a break up and your next relationship is your single season. There is a lot I have learnt and experienced in my single season that I probably would have never learnt in relationships. There are many benefits of being single, these things are rarely spoken of but its imperative to know. So that you understand how to be content and maximise your single season to the fullest whilst you wait for your God ordained spouse.
In your single season you will:
- Go through healing and deliverance from the hurt and bondages of the past
- Learn more about yourself
- Cultivate independence as single woman
- More time to develop your gift, talents, passions and career
- More time to blossom in friendships and family
- Time to get to know who God is in your life
- Special time to build intimacy with your Creator
- Do fun, exciting things you’ve always wanted to do without hinderance
Your season of singleness is a season of healing, learning and preparing for your future husband. I personally don’t believe it’s a season to start dating straight away just to change your relationship status.. fall in love with you! Get to know you! I know this may sound odd but date yourself!
A divine transformation blossoms within you when you just let go and allow God to have His way in you as you wait patiently on Him for your lovely future spouse. Do not be afraid to be a single woman, do not be ashamed whenever someone asks your relationship status. Did you know that if you have a desire within you to have a relationship and get married, it actually means God wants you to be married too? It’s the Lord that places that desire within you. But you have to let go of your worries and anxieties. Hand it over to Him and let Him bring your husband to you. You find that things work so much quicker and easier when you’re surrendered to God’s will.
Here are some practical tips on what you can do to be content single and embrace it.
- Be fruitful with your time
Within times where we are quite lonely or bored with not much to do, our minds begin to race and plenty of thoughts and emotions can arise. These thoughts begin to occupy our mind, through which we begin to dwell on things for a long period of time.
Use this free time to do something fruitful. Such as doing what you love. It could be reading, coffee shops, cinemas, art work, listening to podcasts and so much more! Whenever you have free time, occupy it with something fruitful. When you begin to see that you are maximising your free time by being fruitful and tuning into your passions, the single season begins to become much more enjoyable!
- Spend more time with girlfriends
Friends are vital when you want to be content single and embrace it. They’re there to love you, support you, uplift you. I can’t express how much just one friend I have has helped me in my times of hardship. It’s not about quantity, it’s about quality. Be open to your trusted friend about how you feel and make an effort to strengthen your friendship. Go out, do fun things together! Create memories! You’ll treasure them forever!
- Nurture your gifts
Whatever your gift may be, I dare you to nurture it. Through nurturing your gift, I believe your are beginning to walk intentionally within the purpose that God created you. What is your gift? Writing? Painting? Singing?
Take some time aside at least an hour a day or what suits you best and press into your God given gifts. The bible says that your gift can make room for you, therefore through the pressing on with your gift you never know what door of opportunities will open to you.
I also believe that as we do the very things we were created to do, a sense of joy and contentment arises within our heart. Because we enjoy the very thing that we are created to do with excellence. Your gifts are a very big part of why you’ve been placed on the earth. Work on your gifts and blossom to become who God has called you to be.
- Embrace the new season
Embrace the new seas on that you are in and remove old, unwanted things in your belongings. This could include old clothes and old gifts that give you hurtful memories from your past relationships. Create a new wardrobe by adding pieces to your collection one by one and start to see a transformation in your appearance. Your appearance can play a big part as to how you are feeling and the level of your confidence.
When you remove old gifts from ex relationships you also feel that sense of freedom and closure.
You are literally removing the old the make room for the new!
Sometimes you just need new scenery, a new environment to refresh your mind and heart. It doesn’t need to be abroad, you could go just outside of your city or another area in your country. If you’re willing you could possibly travel abroad! Experience new places, different cultures, beautiful people! you begin to gain confidence and joy when you come outside of the usual and your comfort zone into the adventures of the world.
- Reach out to God
This would have to be the most important thing, especially from my experience and journey. Jesus Christ is the person who can heal your heart and fill you up with abundant joy like nobody else can.. when you believe in Him as your Saviour it’s an amazing feeling that can never die. It’s like you are secured in His arms forever. He promises to be with you forever.. if you haven’t read the bible properly before I would recommend reading the book of John first! It’s a beautiful story introducing who Jesus is and His ministry. Bible verses can also be so comforting to your soul in the most lonely times.
You don’t have to be perfect to come to Jesus, you don’t have to be religious or a certain way.. He forgives you no matter what you’ve done. He just asks for you to come to Him because the love He has for you is so great.
Our identity and value is not determined by our relationship status. We are valued by Christ alone. I hope in this season of singleness you will come to understand that. And in the right time, God will bring the right person for you! Be content whilst being single and embrace it to the fullest!
Keep on blossoming,
Take a peek of a prophetic word the Lord laid on my heart : The Lord Desires A Relationship With You ♡ Intimacy With God